A new day

So today is a new day - I went to bed early last night, and I got up earlier this morning hoping that today will bring a nice new day for it.

I am currently downloading the new OS4 for the iPhone, but it's taking forever because the backup part of the installation is driving me nuts... it's the slowest moving thing ever so I'm going to have to leave my iPhone at home while I go to work and just check on it at lunch time... which sucks.

I TXT my bf all day everyday so this is totally gonna suck! I can't help I enjoy talking to him : ) and most times he makes me smile and makes my day go by faster so it's just nice to hear from him!

Regards,

Zak

So cold in my room, it's ridiculous and I have the heat on like 30C but because I'm in the basement and I have a door in my room that goes outside it's all cold.

Blah.

SO my mother just bought the iPhone 3G S and I am beyond jealous... hatefully jealous I guess you could say. But I still love her, just not her decisions ; )

Not a lot new in my life right now, just waiting for things to start getting better i.e. stable job and some stable income, which starts next next week on the 15th... so that will be nice to get a paycheck that's not only 300$ and not have to owe it ALL and THEN some to bills and car parts.

Makes me want to go to sleep tonight and all tomorrow so next week comes faster or something... I don't know, but it's half tempting.

TWITTER

Thank you all, now you are featured with my own personal Twitter links to which I IMPLORE you to go and check out and follow me : )

Because if not I will f***cken FLIP! ; )

My views

I'm sure exactly how I feel about excessive partying and stuff at my age... like I have an idea but I'm still a little effy as to how serious I feel about the idea. I know I'm young and people my age do like to party, but I choose not to anymore.

I used to drink a lot and anyone that's known me could attest to that but just in the last 1-2 years I've completely moved away from the clubbing/partying scene and the type of people it draws in: dodgy and unstable people. I mean it's reflective of the environment, which draws in those types of people. And it's a huge huge turn off for me. I just don't want anything to do with it or that lifestyle anymore and, like I've said, I've completely removed myself from that sphere.

It's just something about it seems so fake, so juvenile and so... ugh. That's probably the best way I could word it - ugh.

NYE was the last night I got to the point of drunkness and even then I was still very conscious of what was happening that night and the environment around me, but it's every time I go out I realise and just get angry at the people that are around me. People are just so different under the influence, and don't get me wrong so am I! We all are, and it's just annoying. I just prefer to relax and drink and sure if I want to get drunk kind of stay in my own little area, with a few friends and just relax and chill and not be part of the bullshit and the drama... which is really what it is and what I've experienced in my years of hardcore partying and "living it up."

Well I'm grown up, and I've matured, and I want absolutely nothing to do with it... it just seems so immature.

200th Post

Yay this is my 200th post under this blog title... that's fun and exciting and kind of lame too when you really think about it.

Ok so today is yet another day off for me but a few jobs have come up on the job bank so I'm going to run my ass down to their stores and hand in resumes/fill out applications because I need money bad and I want to work more than 3x a week. Because frankly, this is very boring.

Once I do that I'm going to go about my daily routine, hit up the gym, then after that head home and play Assassin's Creed 2 for Xbox 360 for the rest of the night on the 12ft x 8ft screen with the projector... it's absolutely amazing. Especially with the surround sound. I can just about hump Ettio's face at this size!

Hello? Hello? HELLO?

Yeah so I admit I've been MIA lately. But that's almost the story every time I've been blogging lately. I've just had nothing exciting or exceptionally annoying to blog about really.

I know one thing though, and that's I am absolutely obsessed with Twitter and TweekDeck because it is constantly on the go... do you know what an API Limit is? I didn't... but NOW I do because I surpassed it and got told to RELAX.

I want a new computer and I did my AMD training so I'm pretty sure I'll be sticking with an AMD this time around... fucking INTEL. I want thew new Phenom II X4 mmmm with a 1GB GDDR3 graphics card so I can play my sexy computer games and then hit up AMD Infinity to hook up 3 monitors and have surround view...

World of Warcraft BEWARE because I am coming back... once I buy my 60 day game card this week... I know it's on the fucking list ok? So relax you fucking nerds.

Bullshit.

Why are people so fucking dodgy?
I make plans and we make plans and then things change and everything goes to shit and here I am waiting for "people to get back to me with what's going on." Well I'm sorry that's not something I'm going to bank on. For the following reasons:
1) I need to know whether or not to waste my minimal money on alcohol
2) Figure out whether I am driving anywhere and need to buy gas
3) Figure out what I need to wear and what's the occassion of the even to see whether I can find something to even wear
4) So I don't fucking sit around LIKE A LOSER.

So to all my so called fucking friends, thanks for getting back to me, thanks for hanging out with me all week when I told you to let me know and you said you would... when you've been "bored" and "looking for something to do" because I've seen the goddam facebook status updates... even commented on a few to get the point across.

So I won't forget this - And anyone who knows me well, KNOWS I won't forget this. You're good as gone, fuck off. I need to find new friends.

Hey

So I just decided I need to write instead of just letting these emotions and feelings bottle up inside my head because it'll just make it worst and by letting it out I'll eventually help myself I guess.

So I'm very scared of aliens: I believe in them and myself have had an encounter not one-on-one but with my cousins witnessing a UFO in the sky. The lights, the irregular flight patterns that do not follow any particular form or law of physics. We knew what we saw. Now I've seen stuff since in the sky and maybe have just dismissed it as satellites and such but this night was different due to the setting and the location.

On a bog in a small town a few hours outside of St. John's, Newfoundland it was night and it was getting late I would say and my cousins and I were out on the Bog skating, because it was winter at the time so it's just something we were able to do. The three of us saw the same thing and kind of were skeptical of what we saw... and we weren't exactly exposed to anything of this nature, I mean we were around 8 years old and too concentrated on seeing moose or the cold weather.

But since that night it sparked an interest in us, and I'm not sure if they continue to pursue this interest but it gets me thinking all the time. About us, about life and about the world and the cosmos.

The age old question: Are we really alone?

I've watched almost all the movies, from War Of The Worlds to Fire In The Sky to Encounters of the Third Kind, etc and some are absolutely extreme and others are downright eerily fact based. I've had discussions with people from friends who's had close encounters of their own and friends who've been wanting them and hunting them their entire lives.

So I just can't believe we're alone in this universe or collections of universes, because it would all just be way too random that circumstances would arise that ONLY this planet would gain all the right formulas and gatherings to support life... in ALL the planets out there, coupled with stars and moons of their own surrounding their own suns with organic compounds, etc. But who said they need to be organic? Well that's only life on Earth that supports that... so we're limiting ourselves.

I think we're going to see something in OUR life times that will change the way we view these things. Something that will rock us right outta the water.

Like this movie just said... we used to think the world was flat and that we weren't able to travel it entirely to visit other places... and now we think we are alone. It's the same kind of thinking.

Where ya been?

Well to tell the truth... nowhere.
Still here just haven't been writing about anything as late. Just been working and continuing the gym and all that jazz. Not to mention playing World Of Warcraft just as much if not more than before, but that's ok because I offset it with the gym! I purchased Creatine two days ago and started that and I'm not gonna lie I've already started seeing HUGE results, so I'm excited to see what this is going to do!

Now I'm just listening to my iPod on shuffle and about to run back upstairs and play some more WoW before making a quick lunch.

My car is in the garage and I wasn't sure how I was going to pay for it and all, but my parents are going to waive the repair fees for part of my xmas gift because I would have to wait until February to be able to finally afford it... so I hope to get it on the road soon. The mechanic said it should be done today or tomorrow, getting all the shit done to it. And I know for sure I'll have the car back on the road by NEXT Friday the latest - when I can pay the taxes owned on it to register the car.

But hey! Next Friday sounds a lot better than February.

We haven't been getting lots of snow which is good, we had two days where we had some and it stayed but then it went up to like 7c and then most of it melted, so it's been all over the place lately... but I don't have winter tires on my car so hopefully it doesn't get bad ha ha ha.

Anyways I'l keep you posted with what's happening with the car and such, and roam around the blogs and throw down some comments on some friends' blogs and such.

Be well and take care!

Updates

So I've been slacking with my blog posts... mostly because I've just been so blah lately I haven't really found it in me to post much of anything. I've been continuing along my gym path... progress is great, energy is up (more than before at least) and my confidence is gaining.

Also been playing WoW a lot and now I have two level 60 characters.

Osten: Lvl 60 Human Paladin
Jupitar: Lvl 60 Night elf Druid

Both on the Nargannon server so feel free to join up and play along with me whenever I'm on and just roaming around.

I need to buy the next expansion pack so I'm able to level past 60... that's definitely on the list of things to do, as are getting my car back on the road and finding a fucking job I don't hate.

Updates

So because I came home drunk and left the light on over the door my parents are pissed with me... not to mention they won't let me borrow their cars to go to the gym that I'm paying out the ass for. It's so fucking stupid. Sure I know it's super nice of them to even let me borrow them in the first place, but to just stop for something like that it just shows their intentions - to control my lifestyle.

Needless to say, working at Staples sucks shit, and I really realized yesterday that I can't trust anyone there - as friends or whatever. Sure I'll talk to them and be civil but no more opening up... or at least be more selective than I have been. I've been considering actually removing some of the people I currently have from my Facebook.

The job interviews went well sure, but I didn't hear anything that day like they told me I would, so I called the next day and she said they were interviewing another person that day and again Monday... this was after they told me it was between me and this other person... so obviously I wasn't good enough, so I've written off that job. It would have been my break from this poverty too, so I'm really not handling it well.

I really don't understand why things can't get better for me.

Ps. I bought Whey Protein so I'm going to be starting to use that before and after I work out to hopefully help me build muscle. I'll do a before and after picture I guess if I feel like it... not entirely feeling it though today, I really wanted to just sleep. And not to mention I have no way to the gym now.

UGHH I hate waiting and I get so nervous and I didn't get a call today... everyone is telling me to relax and just play it by ear, but it bothers me, I'M SORRY. I hate rejection and I hate not feeling qualified for something.. so that's where I am.

I texted some of my references to see if maybe they were too busy to call the references which means they were too busy or whatever today so that could be a reason I didn't get a call - OR I just didn't get the job. But they said it was between myself and someone else, so I would think they'd call the other after two interviews and let me know if I didn't get it or whatever.

It just bothers me, so I think I'm going to just get really drunk tonight so I don't have to think about it at all. Ughhh.

Ok so it hasn't been awfully bad not having a car... I mean sure I have less social life and don't really have the ability to something as simple as go to the convenience store without asking. But I've been able to keep up with the gym, but I still feel bad asking my parents for their car and such, but I've been making sure to show them that I am so grateful and I haven't had any run-ins yet so that's good.

--- It's bound to happen though... the run-ins, that is. I just got to catch one of my parents on a bad day and boom, they'll lose it on me, it's just how it always goes. I've been working a lot more than usual so hopefully I can get over this hump and pay back my shit ASAP.!

For my holiday gift, I told my parents I want a MVI (Motor Vehicle Inspection) and possibly some emergency brakes... or maybe some Car Tax?... let's see what they decide to do, hopefully one of those so that I can get my car back on the road. Also need to look into why I can't drive past 12am, because of some stupid graduate program for licenses here in Nova Scotia.

Haven't been blogging a lot lately, which I admit has been selfish because I know you want to read about my life so bad :P But I've been playing WoW pretty avidly when I have the time and whenever I can take a few hours and sit on my mothers desktop, because my laptop won't support it. My character is a level 23 Night Elf Druid now, and I just love cat form because its so sleek!

Anyways I must get ready for work now, and try to figure out if my parents are driving me or if I am taking the Passat or not, I'm not sure... it'll be better too once my brothers get their car back on the road too, because they can drive me places as well. Something about the Alternator going in their car and having to pay 350$ to replace it... but that's being fixed today apparently. And ugh, I work 1pm to 9pm, but it's good hours so whatever!

Ok so what I am absolutely obsessed with this video game already and I've only been playing just over a week... but that's OK because when I purchased the software yesterday (With the help of Eric!! <3) the lady said that she knows this one guy and he's 60 and absolutely obsessed with the game... so I'm not 60 so it's OK. Gives me something to do now that my car is being put up while I save up enough money to pay all the shit (Tax, MVI, emergency brake repair.)

Also I am really loving the song by Beyonce: Sweet Dream, and really getting into the new Lady Gaga song.. I know it's a tad embarrassing but I don't even care anymore lol, I'm a total fruit -- live with it!

So should I go to the gym today? I was told that going to the gym everyday isn't good for you... but I've been noticing some very positive advancements so I like to think otherwise? Not sure then. Supposed to go out for a beer later with a friend but I'm not too sure I have the energy or the money to do it so I'm really not entirely sure about that either.

That and he has to get back to me anyways and let me know if he's up for a drink. So that just adds more hesitance to the whole situation. It's easier when people just say "Hey, we're going for a drink. Get ready." Because then I have the motivation to do it.

Ps. best beer every though. And at first I didn't really like it but then I really got a liking for it... I've always enjoyed some good foam, and this beer has the alcohol content and the foam. Sure it's a little heavy though, but it's a good sipping beer!

World of Warcraft

So as of lately I started playing this game and let me tell you - it's addicting! And I don't even know why. It's just one of those things like how addicting Facebook is where you can sit there for hours and refresh the feeds page and see what everyone is up to! It's just like that - except you get to roam around random cities and zones and kill things and level and get better equipment.

And when you know people who play it's like a WHOLE new thing because NOW it's a competition to see who can become the best or make the best character combo. Fml, I can't believe I've only been playing a few days and already I'm like this. Been totally ignoring people and secretly not wanting to go outside and do anything because it's just more fun to play this game.

Oh and PS. You can't get H1N1 from playing with people on WoW... so that's a definite upside to the whole situation ha ha ha.

Server: Nargannon
Character: Helheimh (Level 11 Dwarf Paladin)

Add me! ;)

Birds Can Fly So High

Just getting ready to head to the gym before I work tonight... not 100% excited about working tonight's 4-9pm because it's just the worst part of the day: it's either really busy or really slow. New ad today so at least there will be newer stuff to look at and I can waste some time trying to figure out where products have been moved and such.

Hoping tonight for no creepers, not stupid questions, and time to go by SO fast

Tea and Toast

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So I started my day off with some tea and toast, and now I'm just waiting for the energy to kick in so I can run off to the gym and get the gears moving. Today is Tuesday and one day closer to the end of my freedom, AGAIN, for a while... not too excited. Hopefully I get my GST Check in the mail someday soon so I can put some gas in the car and keep the rest to be put towards my insurance payment - YIKES!

Not sure what I'm going to do today other than hit the gym and play some WoW (Which might I add has been down ALL morning, which was the set aside time I had to play it specifically, when my time on my mother's computer is inhibited!) and relax... and stay out of the general public. I decided I didn't want to go out and hang with anyone last night and just stayed in and went to bed a little earlier than normal. I've started this weird obsession where if I feel my body is getting too cold, or if I don't wash my hands enough, or if I touch certain things or fail to eat certain things I will increase my chances of getting the flu/h1n1 and so I'm noticing I'm becoming very very obsessive about these little nit-picky things... just what I need, more things to obsess over.

Well anyways I am almost finished my tea and I'm beginning to feel the energy rush through my body, which means it's about time I begin to get ready for the gym and get this poor frail body in shape!

Somebody mentioned progress pictures... which I'm half tempted to do, but also kind of embarrassed at the same time. So I will think about it a bit harder and see whether I can reach a decision haha.

Ps. I need to find a different font for this blog because I'm really not digging the one set here right now so I'll work on that before I go to the gym (Notice the stalling... *sigh*).
Pps. Totally changed the coloring and the text style/size so it's a little more aesthetic.

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>_>

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So I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next few weeks... it's definitely going to be a struggle. I forsee it coming and so I'm trying to gather up the energy and the patience needed to get over this last hump for a while (hopefully.) I need to find myself a full time job so I can get a steady flow of money coming in because this part time bullshit is really driving me nuts... never knowing exactly how much I'm going to be getting - some weeks an adequate amount and others a very small amount - and unfortunately this week will be the small amount... resulting is possibly not enough money for my insurance which will bounce the payment (charging me 50$ ontop of the 184$) and giving some more bad credit.

So I discovered, via a friend, a new band that I must say I really enjoy. The Temper Trap (Click me!).

They have a familiar sound, maybe a mix of some bands I enjoy that I can't entirely put a finger on... maybe some Interpol rhythm with some vocals from Sigur Ros (Without the Icelandic sexiness.)

So today I'm going to do my 6/7 day routine and go to the gym, then off to work because I picked up a shift tonight.. so I work 4-9pm which is a shitty shift... but I made a vow after yesterday's staff meeting that I'm going to be more intense about my job... even if it's just a bullshit part time job but still it's all about image and reputation here in this little town so you never know when I might need a reference or someone to pull some strings for me!

I apologize for nothing really substantial to write about lately... it's mostly because I'm just going through a rut again - really though? when am I not going through a rut these past few years. I guess it would be something different to say that I'm NOT going through a rut... that would definitely be a surprise to myself and to many.

Had a talk with my parents this morning they said I don't seem happy and that whenever I come home I go directly to my room and lock myself away - which is true. I must say I'm not fairing well with this living back home again, it's just too stressful because they haven't changed at all in the 4 years I've been away, and I've changed quite a substantial amount... and so they treat me the same. But my mother makes dinner which is nice... and wholesome.

Tonight I'm going to hang out with my friend Jay again, it's been fun hanging the past few days and just having someone to connect with... someone that's there, as Eric's said before. And I agree, it's been nice. He's going to Brazil for a month, then back to work on the cruise ship for a few more months then moving back home here in May... which seems so far away. I'm sick of waiting, and constantly being up in the air about everything, I want something substantial and someone to feel the way I feel for them - I want reciprocation and mutuality.

I also want money and to not be broke so I have something to share with someone.

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Gym-goer Lifestyle

Oh man, it's definitely becoming a thing for me now... I can't even look at something high in calories and comparing that to a certain amount of time I have to be on that damn elliptical! I mean that's good, but it could also become very bad... or maybe I'm just starting to think healthy again. I dunno, but I'm liking the changes beginning to happen to my body already - and it's been only a week!

Yesterday I took a day of rest and didn't go to the gym, but relaxed after a night out on the town, no more soreness from Saturday's gym trip, so I'm ready to go today and push myself a little harder again.

My new love has become Walnuts and Cashews... obviously only a measured amount because of the loaded down trans fats and such in them, but they're just so tasty and definitely a lot better than potato chips... and they also contain protein which is good!

Drinking a min. of 3.4L of water a day is still a little hard so I always try to have a full glass of water next to me whereever I go so I am constantly drinking that.

I read a few days ago that 80% of the time we're hungry, we're actually just thirsty! So I've been trying it out, and eating little bits here and there, mixing up the food groups and I've noticed I don't whop down huge amounts of food like I used to... sure I'd love to just have 2 servings of my mothers amazing Shepherds Pie, but I just have to think... 45mins on the elliptical!

Ps. My family is gone to get their H1N1 Shots right now I believe... they called me this morning and asked if I was going to go, I said no... so I suffered their wrath again. -Sigh-