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Wednesday Afternoon Shinanigans

Totally drunk and it's a Wednesday afternoon, that's right!. After work (I finished at 2:30) I decided to have a late lunch paired for a few glasses of wine on an empty stomach.
So needless to say I am GOOD, TO, GO!
What a nice time.

Actually I think I'm going to go to sleep since well... that's my options of events for this evening... not much else to do! Oh except return my Xbox 360 game... but I'm in no shape to be driving anywhere...
Oh shit I'm supposed to go look at a car at 6pm so I better sober up or my parents will be very, very angry! Aha!
Work wasn't brutal today, and apparently there's a new associate hired so that means less hours for me which is both good and bad...

Bat For Lashes

So this is Natasha... Natasha Khan (Aka Pearl).
She's the lead singer of my favorite band, Bat For Lashes.

Definitely a different sound to her, it's relaxing and nice. Simple at times, but the beat spices it up.

Both her albums, Fur and Gold and Two Suns, are both deliciously delightful and come highly recommended by me.

And she's damn cute which a borderline personality disorder.

This is what I do with my meaningless life... listen to music and explore random artists from the UK. Yeah for some it brings meaning... some of those people being me.


My life sucks, it's pretty much confirmed.
Hey bill
i was there earlier looking at the nissan with my family and we talked it over and if you were willing to accept 1100$ for it I'd definitely be interesting in buying it within the next few days.

If this sounds reasonable to you let me know and we'll swing by for another look and finalize the arrangements,

Thank you,

Hello Zach
Thanks for getting back to me. I had a lady by this afternoon looking at the car and she is very interested in buying the car if I still have it tomorrow. I told her I need to get $1300.00, so I would have to decline your offer of $1100.00. Thanks Bill

Ok, thanks for the reply. If you or her change your minds let me know, I'd be willing to go as high as $1200 but I can't afford $1300, so just keep me posted.


No reply yet... so we'll see what happened there. Kind of depressing I must add, because I convinced myself into really wanting that car, sure its nothing spectacular to look at, but whatever it'd get me around... and that's what I need most right now.

My chocolate.

A More Extensive About Me

So I've been forced to do a more extensive About Me post so that you all can get a better idea of who I am, so I delightedly present it to you now:

22 Years old I am currently living in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, Canada. And I really enjoy the area so far, it's cute and tiny, and it's nestled nicely amongst trees and widespread houses with a nice blend of all the amenities you'd need to get everything done. I moved here July 1st, 2009 from Windsor, Ontario.

Originally born in St. John's, Newfoundland and growing up in Bonavista, Newfoundland I moved to Ontario for the first time when I was just 11 years old an stayed in Oakville, Ontario for approx. 6 years before moving back to St. John's, then from there to Windsor, and so the saga begun.

I am in limbo with finishing my Bachelor's degree in Honors Political Science and I hope to finish it someday, but for right now it's just not me. I regret starting and doing as much of the program as I did, but I've learned that I can only embrace my past and not dwell on the mistakes I've made.

I'm 5'8, currently 145lbs and hoping to slim that down and maybe gain some muscle in the next little while! Getting a car will be step one in that process, because I hate being the skinny guy, I always have, I just never told anyone that.

I used to be anorexic, from grades 9-11, weighing in approximately 105lbs at the same height that I am at right now. I've learned from that though, and you'd definitely see that if you saw me now... definitely not anorexic.

My favorite band is Therion. I feel their lyrics speak something different and agreeable to my soul and my heart. Catchy tunes as well, but most of their lyrics are based around norse heathenism and other pagan references.

I come from a very christian home but I practice nothing of the sort. My faith waivers from time to time and my acknowledgment of a divine power fades depending on the situations I find myself in, but ultimately I believe in a primal Divine spirit that guides us all, whether in the embodiment of Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Jupiter, Zeus, etc.

I have OCD, and I love things to be perfect especially in respect to my bed, my typing (re: typos) and with people around me. I am obsessed with lines and making sure everything lines up perfectly, whether it be sheets of paper or items on a desk.

I hate repetition and it just stabs deep, if you know me well then you'd know this.

I love cars, and I know a lot about them, which for some is a little confusing because apparently gay guys cannot be so deeply into cars... that's weird?

I'm a homosexual, as anyone close to me knows. I don't think I'm blatantly obvious but I know I don't hide it from anyone, being family or friends... especially friends. If you don't like me for something so basic then how can you like me for the more complex things that are part of my personality.

I love music, all types really... more specifically experimental ambiance (Sigur Ros, Riceboy Sleeps, The Black Atlantic, The Volcano Choir, etc). I am obsessed with Bjork and I have over 500 of her songs as well as some rare ones and some from her previous band, The Sugarcubes. I love and appreciate Indie music for what it is and one of my favorite Indie artists is Dan Auerbach.

I love learning and I am obsessed with knowledge. Richard Dawkins' book The Selfish Gene is probably one of the most profound books I've read. I love learning about Culture and Religions and about where and why people act the way they do. I love understanding.

I know a lot of random things.

I pick "Random Article" a lot on Wikipedia and read them when I am bored.

I love the stars and space.

I am a conspiracy theorist, an animist, a liberal, and a paranormal enthusiast.

I believe in UFOs, extraterrestrial beings, intelligent life out there.

I'm random and complex and it's hard to read me I've been told. I'm cold hearted but warm on the inside when you get to know me.

I love to donate and participate in things that will better the community; the arts, organizations, etc.

When people say "He wouldn't hurt a fly" they were really referring to me with that cliche.

I hate and love people.

I love the color green, but I hate the color green in cars.

I can list 17 things wrong with me that I'd love to change.

I like chocolate Axe deodorant like a lot.

I am obsessed with spraying Febreeze around my room.

I love my bed sheets and my new duvet, they're so comfy. And I paid a huge amount of money for them which is sort of embarrassing.

I love coats and jackets and I don't mind spending ridiculous amounts of money for simple things just because I justify the means subconsciously.

I love butter on my tea biscuits and I put sugar in my tea... sometimes a lot depending on if I feel tired.

I do weird things sometimes that don't make sense solely because I feel it should be done. Almost like a self-inflicted superstitious behavior.

And I guess that clues it all up, and when/if I think of something else I will certainly just throw it in here as this is probably a completely random post and most people either won't understand or pay attention to the flow enough to care. I just felt I should post a more extensive profile of myself as a few people have been asking.

Car Hunting

Car hunting was kinda depressing... only saw a few cars that I was really interested in.. one a 1995 Nissan Sentra that needs some window tinting and some killer rims to make it a little more appealing but at least it runs nice and the motor purrs like a kitten of sorts.

Looked at a 2001 Ford Focus 2 door ZX3 which needed over 300$ in work done to it but it rode really nice and the engine still purred like a kitten of sorts. Needed an emergency brake cable fixed and some rust touch ups, but he was asking no less than 1500$ for it... and it'd be sitting on the parking lot until I got the necessary items to get it passed by the MVI done...

Depressing... and frustrating.
Maybe I'll go with the 2 door Nissan Sentra... it's cheaper, not the most amazing looking box-type car but at least it runs nice and such.
We'll see what the next week holds, maybe he'd go less for the Sentra in which case I'd probably go for it for sure, maybe 1100$ and I'd be solid.

PS. Here's the Nissan, nothing special but it's in great condition for a car that's 13 years old.

Stand up and say it loud, if you're out there.

I Miss You

I notice I've been saying it less the last few weeks because of all the stress and family shit I've been going through, but I definitely still miss you a lot.
I look forward to tomorrow because I know it's bringing me one day closer to you.

I'm sorry the trip didn't work out, or this summer didn't work out, but I'm hoping something will soon so I can see you again.

Simpsons and Family Guy

Was pretty good, I enjoyed the little snippit with Everyman and the development of whats-his-face the cartoon guy. Although it wasn't as funny as I had hoped.

Family guy on the other hand was actually pretty good! It's always (9/10) pretty on par with keeping up a hilarity level, and I liked the little universes they went to showing different types of Family Guy characters!

Definitely of the three, Family Guy was the best tonight, followed by Simpsons and then dead last (Sorry Cleveland!) The Cleveland show... although Cleveland Jr. was oddly funny looking which definitely gives a few points there!

The Cleveland Show

Meh, it was alright I guess... nothing special about it, although it'll be nice to see his character developed a little more.
I mean, he had really cool hair back in the day right?

Simpsons, Cleveland Show, FAMILY GUY!

Award-winning lineup tonight showing off their new season's premiers! I am SO excited.
Car hunting tomorrow with the parents, so hopefully that doesn't turn into a disaster!


As soon as I get time I PROMISE I will update my layout because the last one crashed Haha!
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Therion: Gothica Kabbalah

Listen when the Sibyl speak
(of) prophecies and ciphers in the sky
Adulruna is her name
I will follow - Come to me!
Fifteen runes (were) revealed to me
A holy message from the Frey to Man
Secret letters in my mind
the door is open in your dreams
From ancient days the Sibyl speaks to me
through the northern wind
the Talisman of Gothic Kabbalah (she) reveals to me
The staves and runes are written in the sky
Read the book of Gog
The Talisman of Gothic Kabbalah (will) unite your soul
Kabbalah Upsalica
Odin, Thor and Frey, you'll find them here
I'm the runic kabbalist, the door is open in your dreams
From thrones and temples of the mighty gods
in the halls above the words and runes of
Gothic Kabbalah (are) once again revealed
The soul will fly, ascending into the sky to the halls above
The words and runes of Gothic Kabbalah
they'll break he chains
From ancient days the Sibyl speaks to me
through the northern wind
the Talisman of Gothic Kabbalah (she) reveals to me
The staves and runes are written in the sky
Read the book of Gog
The Talisman of Gothic Kabbalah (will) unite your soul


Yes AND yes!

Halo 3: ODST

The newest 'in between game' in the Halo chronicles is actually quite interesting and well put together for something seen as a "side" project.
ODST: Orbital Drop Shock Trooper
I'm only on the 2nd level right now but I must say I enjoy the storyline so far and the graphics are very true to the original idea of Halo, introducing some new aliens was a little surprise but it's a good way to advance the game as a whole.
I am totally stalling from going to work... I hate working at Staples and today is a 7 hour shift.

Calm After the Storm

So I just got back from a little (25mins there, 25mins back) trek to the Sobey's closest to my house. The weather was nice, the area is beautiful and it was just good to be part of nature again. Minus the fact I hadn't eaten since yesterday, and even then only had a slice of pizza before work, it was a good experience.
It's good to calm yourself and look at the bugs flying around the trees, the occasional bee whizzing past your face, and the birds looming around, with the occasional car driving by on the no-side-walked road. I must say the area I live in is beautiful and it's nicely connected to nature and all the trees, and sometimes I get fawns in the backyard!
Anyways the last 24hours have been very stressful so needless to say I needed that little walk to and from Sobeys.
My mother is still being as frustrating as ever, and becoming more and more overbearing... I can't keep my sanity here much longer, and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this, no joke. Last night was almost my breaking point, wherein I just wanted to pack up everything today on my day off and just leave, never come back, and never talk to them again. It's always such an emotional rollercoaster living with them and I thought things were going to be better this time around... but I was so very wrong. Things have gotten worst. And I'm sure they will continue to get worst until I snap.
And so I'll continue to enjoy my chocolate chip eggo's and say FUCK EM.

Uploaded two pictures I took on the way down my street out of my area.
PS. My phone's camera sucks.


Fuck you.

*Crosses fingers*
By friday I should have enough for the car I want + the insurance deposit!




Good effen album, and he's just osoeasy on the eyes! <3


So today and last night I've been thinking a lot and I'm feeling very weird about things, about life and where my life is heading and I try to see into the future but I see blurs and unrecognizable figures. I hate it.
I've never been this clueless, and the past year and a half has been a time of learning, and trying to live. But I've had always seen some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.
But this time I just can't see much of anything, I can see some sort of light possibly but it's just so damn far, it's just like a faint twinkle of a star millions of light years away and I'm not sure how I'm going to get there and I'm not sure of how long it will take.
I guess this is where in life I'll learn patience?
I feel excluded from everything, sure this little town is cute and such but I have time for nothing between the two jobs so it's like I don't even really get time to catch up on current happenings and I don't hear much from the people around me because they're not exactly the type. It's confusing.
I'm supposed to go to school in January, upon completion of 125h of volunteer, which I have yet to start, and now I'm not even sure I want to do this program at all! I don't even KNOW what I want to do! I can't see myself doing anything for the rest of my life! Is this even normal? Could it be a silent omen? Could I see no future because I have no future at all? Is this why I cannot figure anything out, or why nothing works out? Because it would just be a divine waste of time and energy?

I don't fucking know anymore.


Sweet I get paid today, AND I have tomorrow off, so that'll be very nice. Plus I should eventually get that lost check from Staples soon, so I should have enough money all at once to maybe get a car... tomorrow I'll go to some used car lots and check out some cars, see what I can find!
Eff I need a car asap though, so I really hope I can find something really cheap and really fast so can just have some transpo. Also I need a car to get me to Halifax for October, I think I'm going to visit... I really hope so! I hope everything lines up nicely and it works out.

But knowing me it'll fail terribly because I just never have anything work out the way it should. Just the spitefulness of my life.
Eeee!! Season finale of True Blood loading... I know I'm a thief but whatever I just GOTTA watch it right now, and I'll buy them later!
It's recorded on the DVR but it's just more fun when I can watch it on my laptop and not be bothered by my noisy family!

My Bitch

Today won't be a very long day... I finish work 4pm and that's relatively early for me, normally whenever I finish the one job early like that it's just in time to go to the other until 9 so I'm not sure what to do with all my free time today.
I know cleaning my room is on the list because I feel like being a rebel today and not making my bed.

Rumble rumble

Oh snap? What's that feeling? Did I not remember to eat dinner tonight? How strange... oh well here I am with cheese and crackers in hand trying to nourish myself.
And here I thought eating was just for mortals.

PS. Choked on crackers. Hazard.

Best Edible Thing Ever.

Oreo Frosty.

Spaceman, Oh Spaceman.

I'm feeling very spacey this morning. Probably a product of last night (WHICH I apologize for.) but I will still well behaved! I ate a lot though, a sub and a rolo mcflurry, some candy from the gas station. The rain made everything more dramatic last night, that and my parents were being sketch and when I came home my laptop was on so something tells me they tried once again to snoop my shit... exactly why I password protect everything. And they wonder why I don't trust then... well there ya go guys, that's exactly why.

Today's going to be a somewhat long day, but it's the order which I like, so it should go by somewhat fast and easily. Fingers crossed.

Am I rude if I correct people typo's in their msn names? I'm sorry I just hate typos in something publicly broadcast, that's why I try my best to make sure I never have them and watch carefully for the red squiggly line!

In Moments of Silence

You're sleeping right now so I know I won't get to say this to you face (Although I think I do quite often) but I think you're absolutely amazing. I can't wait to figure this whole thing out about me coming to visit, and I hope all the right doors open up to allow this trip to happen with ease! I know we need it; we need to be together because it's been so long already that we've been apart. I love how we complete each others sentences, know what the other is going to say and know when we're both online and we just feel that pull to go online because deep down we know the other one is online waiting for ya! You've been there for me when I've had some very rough days and I'm so thankful for that and hope someday I can repay you for this. In the meantime I'll just wait here, waiting for you, and waiting for us to be together again.

I'm fine with this. In fact, I love it.

PS: Playing FarmVille and Restaurant City with you is so cute, and just one of the many reasons you're perfect for me.


I'm sorry I missed you babe, but I think you need to nap because you weren't feeling well. I think I'm going to lay down for an hour too because I can =]
Sorry I was playing Wii when you messaged me on msn, so I didn't get it until it was too late! =[

Nerves Normal, Breath Normal.

Finally a day to relax, well not that I can say FINALLY because I was off Tuesday and Wednesday as well, but the last two days were just a little too much, 2 14-15h days with no real break in between. Just a little intense.

I need the money though, so I don't say no to the shifts, I just complain dearly and blog about it. And yeah, I apologize for my constant bitching but that's what's this blog is for, it's even said in the name! Whatever peaks my interest, and tweaks my nerves! So you knew it was coming!

PS: Just realized that appologize is spelt "Apologized." Thanks so much Spell Check! Who would have known, and here I thought I was a pretty good speller... I guess not.

The Long Awaited.

My fucking bed looks so good right now and I can't wait to lay in the cold sheets, laying my head against the chilled pillow cases. Too bad you're not here tho babe. <3


Absolutely worst day of my life, in the sense of it just dragggginnnn onnnnnn. I am so fucking tired.


Long mother-fucking day today... hopefully I can get through it with no major freak outs or no major blips of insanity! I'll keep ya posted, but I know once I get home from all this tonight I will probably crash, so I'll talk to you later!

Leaving On a Jetplane

Fuck I wish I was on here leaving this fucking bullshit of a planet behind. All the falsehoods, the confusion, the hate, ignorance, misunderstanding and the pettiness.


Everyday I am becoming more and more of a hateful gay.
The kind that hate heterosexuals because they're terrible terrible fucking creatures.

Absolutely Certain

That's it I am absolutely certain, my parents are going crazy (More specifically my mother.)
I woke up this morning to nonstop battling upstairs... it was so crazy I didn't even want to get out of bed because I KNEW as soon as I get up there they would have just started on me too. They even mentioned me several times and I wasn't even there!

Also, both my parents on the way out the door say "We can't find your brothers' car keys, so you really have to look for them, we don't have time, BYE."

So how the fuck am I supposed to get to work? Especially when I have to be at two different jobs today, and they just take off when they were up with my brothers and they didn't even care to ask them or anything? Yeah OK you complain that I apparently "Don't care" when I do so much around the house, give you money for everything, but yet I'm unthankful and rude.
I think you need to recheck yourself because it's you that are showing these characteristics!

*UPDATE* I had to search everywhere in my brothers' rooms and my parents room, tear everything apart until I finally found their set of car keys... not only am I on the verge of a total fucking heart attack but I am so pissed I could piss green!


Cute little game but I'm stuck in this awful rut where I can't seem to get out of the dessert! It's really kind of frustrating but whatever. Tomorrow is going to be a long ass day, I work: 10a-415p, 5p-9p.

Let's see if I can muster up enough energy to get through this day... oh well I need to work as much as possible until I save up enough money to buy the car, and at least insurance is only 100$ a month which is quite reasonable when you've had as many speeding tickets as I have!

New Layout!

Yeah I was so pissed and just utterly confused I decided to change my layout.
That's right, the Retro MacOS... I thought I'd go for a dramatic change!
Hopefully you don't find it too confusing, and I'm assuming I'm going to have to change my writing style to accommodate this new layout change


I don't know why I did this... I don't know why I moved back home.
Nothing has changed in my family, only things have gotten worst and more confusing as days go by.

But hey I have more money now? Hoping for a super cheap car by next week maybe the next 2 weeks if I want to save for something a little better... I don't know I just can't deal with alot of things right now.

Maybe I'll take the 1500$ and fly back to Windsor.

... Fuck it maybe I'll take the money and fly to England and start over everything new.

Makes Me Sick...

Ignorance makes me absolutely sick.

Alongside that, last night my mother had the nerve to say that someone on her facebook posted pictures of him and his boyfriend kissing, and that was disgusting.

To say that to me was such a fucking slap in the face... and if it wasn't for the very fact that I need her and my father to drive me around everywhere right now I probably would not have spoken to her for a very long time... we'll see how long this lasts.


An Update

So far I've saved 0$ for my car... it's kind of frustrating actually because I really need that car, but shit just keeps coming up that I need to pay for, mostly my cell phone.

In the last two weeks I've paid a total of 320$ towards my fucking cellphone, which isn't a fun thing to have to do.
But I just need that phone, and it was a buildup of 2 months of not paying plus fees and all that bullshit, but it's just fucking frustrating.

I need a car, ASAP.


[Click me]

My bed

So I've been working on my bed lately and improving its sleepability.
It's so fucking comfortable and I'm almost done dressing it up and making it feel exactly like a hotel bed.

Right now I'm just missing a duvet cover (It's hard to find one that matches my decided color scheme!!!) and some throw pillows, preferably one black, one white, and one purple. that'd be perfect.

I also need a new lamp for my room but like i said, I'm working with hard colors to pair with so the items I'm looking for are very specific! And living in such a small town I'm limited to the places that are within 20km lol, especially with no car really except to borrow my brothers' from time to time.

Pictures will come soon, as this is my latest project not much has been happening besides, except lots of work, between the two jobs.

Ps. Love the Tommy Hilfiger duvet, it's so fucking comfy!


QUESTION: Are wait staff entitled to breaks? Whether it be a 4h shift, or a 10.5h Shift. Or is there an exception in this circumstance? Can someone answer this please?

Marilyn Manson

And so my Marilyn manson obsession grows.
He just says everything so perfectly, and I can related to some of what he says too!
Oh gods, I'm just like a confused little teenage!

I don't own any guns though, so put your worry aside.
I’ll possess you but I don’t need you
to be another one of my posessions
I don’t need you to be my possession

And I won’t make you kneel,
for anyone but me
Won’t promise a star,
don’t promise your soul
We’ll say that we don’t believe
Heh, yeah.