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Confused

So today and last night I've been thinking a lot and I'm feeling very weird about things, about life and where my life is heading and I try to see into the future but I see blurs and unrecognizable figures. I hate it.
I've never been this clueless, and the past year and a half has been a time of learning, and trying to live. But I've had always seen some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.
But this time I just can't see much of anything, I can see some sort of light possibly but it's just so damn far, it's just like a faint twinkle of a star millions of light years away and I'm not sure how I'm going to get there and I'm not sure of how long it will take.
I guess this is where in life I'll learn patience?
I feel excluded from everything, sure this little town is cute and such but I have time for nothing between the two jobs so it's like I don't even really get time to catch up on current happenings and I don't hear much from the people around me because they're not exactly the type. It's confusing.
I'm supposed to go to school in January, upon completion of 125h of volunteer, which I have yet to start, and now I'm not even sure I want to do this program at all! I don't even KNOW what I want to do! I can't see myself doing anything for the rest of my life! Is this even normal? Could it be a silent omen? Could I see no future because I have no future at all? Is this why I cannot figure anything out, or why nothing works out? Because it would just be a divine waste of time and energy?

I don't fucking know anymore.

5 people commented:

Ashli said...

Look at my blog titled ambition.

Some of us just take longer than others. It took me YEARS to realize what I want to do, what I'm good at.

It has cost me a helluva lot, but everything happens for a reason. Some of us just take a few different paths, and things get twisted along the way.

We're still young, there's no hurry to grow up. It will come together for you :)

NashvilleBen said...

i think most people feel this way at some point in their lives. it's hard to say how or when we ever come out of this feeling, but i think that we are best able to when we stick to things we love to do and are passionate about... pursue those things that keep you up at night.

ZNLA said...

thnx guys

MikeyMooner said...

Awwwww! Don't worry babe! I just came out of that feeling... It's just a rutt you need to see your way out of, it's a completely normal feeling... You'll figure stuff out, when you least expect it too, so keep your head up, it could be tomorrow. :)

Jaypee David said...

nice layout u got here... =)

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